Protect your mattress and yourself with this mattress protector by Simon Baker.
Waterproof, high quality, high elasticity ensuring a snug fit, therefore minimizing noise and wrinkles. The superior microporous structure allows the mattress to breathe without allowing stain - causing liquid penetration.
That means each of 'em will need their own witty blurb, and well, that's really way more than we'd like to write.
So we're doing what any motivated slacker (talk about paradoxes) would've done and figuring out the easiest route to keeping everyone happy.
We're effectively combining the excitement of writing words with just sitting here.
Is it working?
We'll take that as a yes.