The Fleshlight Turbo™ offers you the most realistic and satisfying alternative to oral sex. Uniquely designed with three points of initial insertion, the Turbo provides the mind-blowing sensations synonymous with getting a stellar blowjob every time you use it. Whether you like to stimulate just the tip or you prefer the tight, spine-tingling sensation of deep throating, the Turbo provides you with the tease and the thrill to get to the finish line.
Unless you're Jack Bauer, of course. Which you aren't. He's fictional - and unless artificial intelligence has come a long way in a short space of time, you're very much real.
If you consider yourself a professional procrastinator, 24 hours is barely enough time to read your emails, let alone respond. Especially if you sleep the recommended ten hours a night.
But it's all we give you to capitalise on our great deals.
And you've just wasted five minutes reading this and wondering how to make the simple act of email reading last a full work day.