Every night at 00:00 a new product is featured on the website. The offer is valid for 24 hours, or while stocks last. After ordering the product on OneDayOnly and after actually paying for the gem, the product will be delivered into your hot little hands.

No sailor, it doesn’t. We don’t know where you live until you tell us. You can see how much it’s going to cost Postman Pat to get your product to you when you put it in your shopping cart.

Well ask the product then. Unfortunately for you, we can’t answer questions about the functionality of the products. We didn’t make it, but we know we wanted it. If you’re going to be difficult about this, grab that model name and number and do some Google PI work.

What’s normal?

We're too busy getting you great deals to pick up the phone, if that's what you mean. If you have a question about the product, google it. Or try the manufacturer themselves. If you’re suffering from buyer’s remorse, sell it on eBay. Now that’s service. You might end up making a little profit and save everyone a lot of hassle. If it doesn't work, figure out what you're doing wrong, get the kid next door to have a look at it.

Well that’s not very nice. We thought we had something really special here. But like any break up, let them go and if they don’t come back, sleep with their best friend. It breaks our heart to do this, but here goes:

Go to the last email you got from us and click ‘unsubscribe’ at the bottom. Then, sit back and let our site do the magic.

Ouch. That hurt.

Siss. This is a family website. On the internets though, a cookie is a small file on your computer that remembers stuff so you don't have to. For example, it'll remember you login details and what's in your shopping cart. If you don't allow our delicious cookie to be stored on your computer, you won't be able to use our website properly.

What have we learnt from this little lesson? Store our cookie. Simple.

Not by us sunshine! But have a peak in the product description and you will find the details regarding the specific warranty offered by the manufacturer or importer. We're nothing if not specific.

This is currently in beta. That's how geeks tell other people that it's not quite done yet, but feel free to play around with it. Currently, it doesn't work too lekker in MS Internet Explorer. But you shouldn't be using IE anyway. May we suggest Firefox or Chrome? You'll never want to go back!

What it does: with Facebook Connect, you can skip the tedious process of coming up with a new username, password and confirming your email address by clicking on the Connect button. Don't worry, we won't be posting anything on your wall, invite all your friends or in any other way publicly humiliate you.

You can log out by logging out of Facebook. Look at it this way: why would you be worried about being logged in on OneDayOnly.co.za, when your friends can have way more fun with your account on Facebook?

You can revoke our access to your account by going to your Facebook account's privacy settings.

That's pretty vague buddy. How about getting in touch with customer service people over at customerservice@onedayonly.co.za and you can be nice and specific. And the people over at customer services won't just help you with your ordering questions, they can help you with costs, your account, your product, it's madness I tell you, madness!

Simple:

1. Click “I Want One!”
2. Fill out the form with all your details
3. Click “next”
4. Confirm all details are correct
5. Click “next”
6. Choose your method of payment
7. Click “next”
8. Fill out payment details

If you can't follow these steps, you shouldn't even be allowed to access the internet. Fact.

The best two! Your credit card or EFT. That's an Electronic Funds Transfer to you. Do us a favour though: Get your bank to email us your confirmation of payment the same day you order. Makes the whole process fit into One Day Only. Getit?!?

Safe as houses. Like the White House or houses that form part of the Witness Protection Programme.

All transactions are handled by MyGate (Pty) Ltd (www.mygate.co.za). All information transferred throughout the payment process is encrypted with SSL. This information cannot be traced, intercepted or used by unauthorised third parties. Your credit card information will not be kept in our system. Even if we wanted to (and we do) we won't be able to see diddly squat of your private stuff. Financial or otherwise.

On the payment website, you'll notice there's a small padlock on the bottom right hand side of your browser. That means there's a secure connection. If you double-click it, you'll see the certificate, issued by Thawte Inc. They're the internet police and you don't mess with them. If they say it's safe, they're being modest.

Hard to say really. It all depends on the product. Best answer? Check out the product description and it may give you some indication. After ordering we may send you a tracking number that you can use on the website of the good people at Fedex to see what they're doing with your stuff.

It depends on the supplier whether or not we will give you that tracking number...

And the winner for being vague goes too: OneDayOnly!

We want to say yes, but we would be lying. But we know you're a sneaky bugger so what you could do is, get your friend in SA (if you don't have one, stalk someone) and get them to order it for you and they can send it on.

Yes. But be careful with this. If the parcel gets delivered to your office's front desk, or the security gate, or the wrong department - it is still confirmed and delivered. Get it? We will get confirmation of delivery and with that it's out of our hands and hopefully into yours.

In this case, make sure you add some detail in the address comments section (your telephone extension, for example) to make sure our driver contacts you when he's there. Do not send the item to your company's private bag or postbox since there's no way of telling where it'll end up. It is your responsibility that the information provided is correct and accurate.

Please note that we do not, under any circumstance, ship to PO boxes. Never. So, please avoid delays and enter a valid delivery address right away. Otherwise, we'll have to call or email you, which we don't always feel like doing, and it all takes a lot longer...

Well stop using it as a dancefloor then. Make sure you haven't been shaking a shoe on it, have the right side up, follow the instructions, google it or phone a friend. Why not call the manufacturer? (See how we're trying to avoid all contact with you?) If you have exhausted every option and have gone completely mad and are now trying to converse with the inanimate object, then you may progress to the next FAQ entry. But only then. As proof, we may want to hear you talk to your product first.

Why not email our customer service department and those little beauties will be happy to talk you out of it. If that doesn't work, they'll sort something out. If you really want to return the product be sure to do so within 5 days of receipt of the item at the delivery address. You are requested to supply your order number, the name of the product you are returning, and the detailed problem with the item. We will respond with a return authorisation. Because we aren't likely to have a replacement in stock, you should be prepared for a refund-only option if that's all we can do. Know that return freight will be at your expense. Again, you will probably get a better deal from the manufacturer, or whoever else handling member service for that product.

Whatever you do, do not hit the courier. It was probably someone else who dropped it anyway. But whatever you do, tell the courier dude to make a note of it on his clipboard (very important!) and then let us know at customerservice@onedayonly.co.za within 5 days of receipt of the item at your delivery address. Then (and only then) can you open the package to see what sad state your new toy is in. If it's good, keep it! If it is dodgy, let us know. We'll then give it a bash and see what we can do for you.